An Uninvited Guest

A.I. Generated Artwork

Once again, cancer has snuck into my life and clenched it's ugly jaws onto another person I love. The first time it grabbed my mother some six and a half years ago and that battle ended up in a draw with the death of both my mom and the cancer. This time it has chosen my wife to pick on. I hope this time, it will be a clear loser.

As far as cancers goes, this one is the one I would chose if a gun was aimed at my head and told to pick one. My wife didn't get to choose and was merely told by the doctor she had breast cancer. As we have learned in the months since, it models low aggressive growth, was caught at an early stage, Stage 1A as they say in the cancer world, has hormonal receptors which means hormonal blockers are effective treatments, and has no bad genetic markers for cancers know to spread virulently or to offspring.

We were given two different treatment options and though they have the same overall prognosis, they both lead you down much different paths. Lumpectomy, i.e. removing the cancer and some tissue surrounding it, is usually combined with radiation and/or chemotherapy followed by biannual monitoring through use of mammograms or MRIs or both. Total mastectomy, i.e. removing all the breast tissue means you might be able to avoid the radiation and chemotherapy, depending on cancer types, but then leaves you without a breast. Going this route means you are done with mammograms for the rest of your life though. This route has branches to it where you can reconstruct everything to look like it was, and then subject yourselves to MRI's every 2 or 3 years to verify implants haven't ruptured, pull new material from elsewhere on your body, or just leave the breast tissue absent and go without it altogether or wear some prosthetic device.

After much deliberation, and checks of our sanity by those performing the surgery, we went the mastectomy route and took both breasts at once even though only one has a cancerous lump in it. My wife never really placed a lot of value to having breasts, other than getting both our girls through their first year of life with food, and for that matter, nor have I. She is an avid runner and dealing with two flopping appendages were just something extra to deal with. Plus, we are both older now, been married for nearly 21 years now (we got married later than most), and really don't have plans of attracting other mates in the future. 

The day of the surgery came and went. As I type this, my wife is still healing from the wounds but neither of us have regretted the decision. We still await the final pathology report which will determine future treatments. The surgeon reported that the cancer hadn't spread to the lymph nodes which is a great sign along with the other previously mentioned signs. Hopefully the pathology will confirm the early low aggressive signs and we can avoid radiation and chemotherapy altogether. Most likely though, she will be on hormone blockers for the next five to ten years which do a good job of not feeding any stray cancer cells that weren't cut out. 

There are many examples of people younger, with similar cancers and indicators living out their natural lives and that is our hope too. Still, it is unsettling knowing there is a third "thing" in our relationship now and it measures life on percentage still alive after 5 years. The percentages thus far are low, but they aren't zero or near zero as one would like. Would you bet a good chunk of money on the odds, absolutely. Would you bet everything you have, probably not.