Mom's Tip

My wife had a milestone birthday a few weeks back and to celebrate, we went out to eat at a new(ish) fancy steakhouse that opened up in a new motel in town earlier this spring. It is a chain known for their fancy steaks though neither of us much care for steaks in a restaurant setting. My wife got the chicken and I got the fish, both delicious and both a small fraction of the price of their steaks. We enjoyed the meal tremendously but due to the high price (much much less than had we ordered steaks) we probably won't return anytime soon.

However, our server for the night was extremely nice. He perfected the service by making us feel welcome and engaging us in the right amount of conversation without feeling over bearing. Our waters were constantly topped up and he was more than happy to fulfill any requests we had. My wife, near the end of the meal, asked me if he was in the running for "Mom's Tip."

I had never heard my wife refer to it as such but instantly that notion grabbed me and I think I will run with it. Somehow in her later years, my mom told me that she had gotten in the habit of tipping a well deserving restaurant server with a $100 bill, usually sometime during the holiday season. After her death, my wife and I decided to continue that tradition and we have for five of the last six years. For some reason last holiday season, we just didn't go out to eat or weren't in a situation with a good server and never carried it out. I have had that $100 bill stuck in my wallet ever since then and it has been bugging me.

My wife and I don't eat out a lot. It isn't particularly healthy to begin with and also my wife's schedule is such that she is often too tired to eat out on weekdays and on weekends, cooking meals at home is her form of stress relief. When we do eat out, we often go to the same two or three places and I think it would be uncomfortable for the server and us both if a large tip came between us. I want the person gifted "Mom's Tip" to feel grateful and happy, not beholden to us if that makes sense.

So after our meal at the fancy steakhouse, I agreed with my wife that we should give our server "Mom's Tip," the one I didn't hand out last year. For several reasons, I paid by credit card and just added the tip to our bill instead of putting in a zero on the tip line and leaving the $100 bill tucked into the bill holder jacket. We left quietly, not drawing attention to what had transpired, not always possible in the past, and went home imagining our server's surprise and hoping he puts it to good use. 

A few days later, for other reasons, I had to look up a charge on my credit card statement and noticed that my tip hadn't been charged. Instead, our exact bill without a tip was charged. I was instantly confused. Had our server thought we were pandering to his polite conversation when we asked about his family in response to a question he had asked us? We were genuinely interested and I didn't want him to feel that way. So after talking it over, my wife and I agreed to wait a few days and see if for some reason the charge changed to include the tip. If it didn't, we were prepared to call the restaurant and inquire about it and explain the reason we gave the large tip in memory of my mom.

But four days later, when I checked a second time, the charge had been upgraded to include "Mom's Tip." I don't understand the logistics of why the tip needs a few extra days to be added but I'm happy our server received it. I hope it brings him happiness. I hope Mom is happy. I know it made me happy being able to give to someone who definitely deserved it.