Turn and Cough

No picture attached to this post for reasons that will soon become clear.

I'm getting of an age where the rules of seeing a doctor change. I'm transitioning from only seeing a doctor when I think I might be dying to seeing a doctor on a somewhat regular basis to prevent me from accidentally dying of self neglect. And so after nearly three decades, I signed up for my first physical checkup.

Not having done such a thing for a long time, I was I think, understandably nervous. But soon after the doctor came in and stated that we don't do the finger up the bum exam anymore unless something else suggests that it would be prudent, I grew more relaxed. He did all the normal things that were done as a child such as the rubber mallet to the knees to the icy cold stethoscope to various previously warm parts of my torso to the wooden popsicle stick stuck so far down my throat that I gag. 

Also on the list were answering lots of questions and spilling the beans on some of the aches and pains of growing older, such as addressing what might be plantar fasciitis in my left heel. I also donated some blood and promised to undertake a couple at home tests that I can mail back for results. It was all routine and I was kicking myself for being nervous.

Then the doctor stated matter of fact that the last test before I go was the old hernia test. Naive me assumed that would be more poking and prodding of my abdomen area. But I knew I was wrong when the doctor told me to face, him, drop my drawer, turn my head and cough as he cupped a part of me that few people have ever cupped. I did it and evidently passed the hernia test and after the fact, I was still able to look the doctor in the eyes without embarrassment. I guess that is another sign that I'm getting older when I have no shame anymore.

My bloodwork says that my odds of living for awhile are pretty darn good and I'm still waiting on the other two tests to arrive in the mail. I have some anti-inflammatory medicine to pick up later at the pharmacy to see how that does with my foot. It is only for a few weeks and then I don't have to take it anymore so I can continue on with my antipill daily regiment that I have thus far done in my life... at least until my next physical scheduled for this time next year. Way too soon however, these physicals are going to involve sedation and nether region probing. I'm not sure I'm ready to be probed.