Monday, May 23, 2011

Crystal Griswold Is a Very Bad Girl

I suppose it started a couple months ago and I'm not sure when it is going to stop. But almost without fail, on every weekday when I get home from work, there is one perhaps two messages for Crystal. If they had been actual human voices, I would answer them and set them straight that Crystal Griswold doesn't live in my house and if I even knew her, she would be persona non grata anyway. But alas, all I get is robotic calls and they come in one of two flavors.

Flavor one is a call stating matter of factly that Crystal Griswold is being investigate for check fraud and that she needs to call an Atlanta, Georgia number to clear herself. The initial calls just stated that I, no name stated, was being investigated for check fraud. I however didn't have any misplaced checks making debits out of my account and rarely write checks so I wasn't overly concerned and just deleted them. I figured that if I was indeed being investigated for check fraud, a couple men in black would just show up at my door and ring the bell. But after a few weeks, they just came out an identified Crystal by name as their person of interest. The robotic calls will sometimes state that this call is for Crystal Griswold and by listening to the rest of the message I certify that I am Crystal Griswold. Of course I listen to see what kind of trouble she is in but they never have gone into specifics. The only thing I am certain of is that if they ever catch up with Crystal, she is probably going to be behind bars for some time.

Flavor two is a call stating that there has been a settlement reached and Crystal Griswold needs to call the same Atlanta, Georgia numbers to arrange how to receive it. Unless Crystal fell off the turnip truck yesterday, I'm not sure how anyone would fall for that ploy. I would bet large sums of money that any settlement is in the form of a pair of handcuffs. Sometimes they use the word prize, other times inheritance, etc.

Assuming that I have the correct spelling of her name since none of the telephone robots have been considerate enough to spell if for me to make sure they have the right person, a quick search pulls up at least two dozen around the United States. Only one comes up in Macon, Georgia and since all the calls originate from Atlanta, I wonder if she might be the one. Yet when I type the numbers on my caller ID into Google, they as often as not come back to some telemarketing scam which is always why I refrain from calling. So I guess I am resigned to the fact that I will have to come home and delete a couple messages off my machine every day until whatever computer program making the calls reaches its time limit where my number is removed off their list.

If by chance Crystal Griswold you stumble upon this post, please give me a call on my home phone with caller ID. I have a prize that I would like to give you.

9 comments:

sage said...

Interesting, especially the two calls with the same number--it sounds more like a scam than a real investigation. I can't imagine an investigation using robot callers.

PhilippinesPhil said...

Isn't she the daughter of the Chevy Chase character in National Lampoon's "Vacation" series?

R. Sherman said...

Definitely a scam. A real collection agency would never leave a message, nor would law enforcement. Unless the checks totaled a zillion dollars an out-of-state agency would simply issue a warrant and leave it. They wouldn't even bother with an extradition request because of the expense involved.

I say, change your number and ignore the calls.

Cheers.

Ed said...

Sage & Sherman - I suspected it was a scam. Fortunately, the calls seemed to have stopped. I haven't received one in almost a week now.

Phil - She was a Griswold anyway. I can't remember the names of anyone in the series other than Chevy's character Clark.

warren said...

You need to stay home more so you can properly interact when the call comes in!

Eutychus2 said...

I'm not a Chris of any language, but I am open to receiving a free prize!

Vince said...

Make certain you put on the alarm when leaving the house. These scumbags have connections. Try to get the house phone redirected to the mobile.
In the past they had marks on trees when a place was scoped out, nowadays they are more high-tech.

Bone said...

I had a Crystal Griswold one time. Mine's name was Bonnie McGuire. I can't remember if the calls stopped or if I just eventually turned off the voice mail on my home phone first.

Anonymous said...

A Crystal Griswold has been arrested in Phoenix, AZ (10-01-2012) for forgery and identity theft. Google for more.