Friday, October 8, 2010

Total Carnage In the Night

It was 3:30 A.M. when the sound of a chair being thrown through a window right beside my head woke me up from my slumber. I heard a loud bang followed by the implosion of glass shattering all over the place.

"What the f$#k was that?" I groggily ask before my mind started to kick into gear. "Little Abbey are you alright?" I started shouting over and over again as I ran towards her room thinking the worst.

That is when I heard, "I'm alright daddy," coming from the direction of the bed I just left.

"What the...?", I said as I turned around and saw that a groggy Little Abbey must have crawled into my bed sometime during the night. That was a relief because now everyone was accounted for except for whoever made one of my windows implode. I told Little Abbey to stay in bed and crept across the hall into her room throwing on the lights and looking for a shattered window. All windows were intact. So I grabbed her toy guitar as a makeshift club and it immediately started belting into some tune. I quickly hit the off button and proceeded through the house repeating the same process over and over. Hold the club/toy guitar over my head ready to swing and feel around the corner for the light switch hoping to surprise the intruder and perhaps get a swing in before they got me. Every room I found the windows intact and everything in its place. The last room was the same way so I rechecked thinking perhaps that it was only one pane of a double paned window that broke and also looked outside to see if perhaps a car crash had occurred or a neighbor was having a house broke into. I completed my second search and again everything appeared normal.

Was I imagining things? I've been through this twice before with a love struck teenager (a blog post which I can't seem to find anymore) and my wife's shower razor caddy but with those I hadn't known what the noise was and this time it was most definitely glass breaking and somewhere really close to my bed. As I made my way back up to the bedroom to make sure Little Abbey was still doing okay, I happened to notice the hall bathroom (the only room without a window) didn't have a working nightlight which we keep in there for Little Abbey's occasional middle of the night visit. I flicked on the light switch and had to grab the door frame, partially in shock and partially to prevent my momentum from carrying me into the bathroom. It was pure carnage in there.

The very large beveled glass mirror above the sink had evidently come loose from its moorings and shattered into thousands of pieces all over the bathroom with pieces in the sink, toilet, shower and every inch of floor space. There was one large chunk impaled into the flooring right at the base of the toilet and several gash marks in the sink woodwork and the wooden steps we keep in there for Little Abbey to reach the sink. The mystery was solved and fortunately nobody was in the bathroom at the time.

I called Little Abbey out of the bedroom and asked if she wanted to see what had caused all the noise in hopes of relieving any fears she might have. She dutifully looked over the scene and said, "Daddy, I wasn't scared." I'm glad she wasn't as I carefully pried my fingers from her toy guitar still clutched at my side. Knowing that sleep would be a long time coming and still worrying that myself or Little Abbey might forget and walk into the carnage of the room, I grabbed the broom, dustpan and a five-gallon bucket from the garage and proceeded to clean it all up. Sleep was still a long time coming for me but my daughter had fallen back asleep even before I had it all picked up. What I would give to have all that innocence back.


Murf said...

I know the feeling. It's like the time recently I was woken up by the drunk almost 40 year old ex-schoolmates at 2:15 a.m.

Good thing you keep your hair short. The gray hair that this produced probably won't be too noticeable. :-)

Vince said...

Hell of a shock thinking that the child's voice was coming from the totally wrong direction.

geri said...

Glad both of you are okay. I can imagine how scary it might be for something to happen in the middle of the night and having a small child to care for. That must've been quite a mess. I hate it when a glass breaks because of the possibility that tiny shards might be missed.

sage said...

I love the way you tell this--keeping us in suspense. Sorry for your loss of sleep. Years agao, a picture feel of a wall and the glass broke and I had similar dreams and felt that I was under attack.

Check out the boat I photographed at art prize--it's a sailboat, but much like your kayak. It didn't win, but it was one of my favorites

Ed said...

Murf - At least by the time I have to deal with boyfriends, I probably won't have much left to turn gray.

Vince - For once, I was glad that it was in the wrong direction.

Geri - I swept that bathroom three times and still find the occasional piece glinting from some crack or corner.

Sage - I'm behind on my blog reading but I will be sure to check it out.

Bone said...

Wow. Very thankful none of you were in the bathroom when it happened.

And now I think I'll go check my bathroom mirror.

TC said...

I love it that you never noticed she crawled into bed with you :) I'm such a light sleeper, that wouldn't happen in my world.