Thursday, January 28, 2010

Desert Rat: Reporting From Hawaii


I'm a desert rat and thus like the heat but Arizona was forecasted to have a snowstorm of epic proportions so I headed west to Hawaii for some rest and relaxation. Instead, I found out that amidst the worst economic crisis in decades, the Republicans have invaded the island (on human taxpayer dime) for their annual winter meeting. Looks like there will be no rest for the weary.

First and foremost on their agenda the Republican party wants to do a little cleansing within their ranks to rid themselves of those pesky moderate Republicans by denying them funding unless they subscribe to eight of ten key conservative issues in the so called purity resolution. I think we should support them just so we can see how quickly a political party can self-destruct. The Republicans decided to hedge their bets by introducing another resolution called the accountability resolution which does the same thing except puts the power solely within the discretion of the party chairman. If I had to choose between the two, I would want this latter one in hopes that moderate republicans would someday be more than half of the party and thus have the possibility of a moderate Republican chairman denying funds to those Republicans who are neoconservatives. Wouldn't that be a kick in the pants?

The second order of business was to come up with a wittier phrase than "You lie" to use during the State of the Union address. Evidently a new poll showed all politicians lie so the fact that a president might lie is no surprise to anyone, much less the liar shouting, "you lie." Word has it that Joe Wilson from South Carolina will be shouting, "You spend." I'm not sure that is much of a surprise either.

Obama announced a pay freeze on all non-security discretionary spending which is currently only 1/8th of our annual budget and what likely voters have deemed a, "drop in the bucket." To reassure us that isn't the case, Obama has pledged to increase spending for education, high speed rails and hand out tax credits all around.

Massachusetts’s voters finally proved that doing nothing towards campaigning will not win an election. Republican Scott Brown handedly won the election after the gas peddle of his Toyota Tundra became stuck forcing him to rapidly circumnavigate the entire state right before election day. The stuck gas peddle will create at least 15 more jobs at Toyota which garnered him a few more votes than one might expect. Liberal auto giant manufacturer Toyota has now vowed to shut down its plants until after the 2010 election season is over.

Finally upstanding citizen James O'Keefe who showed us what goes on in the upstanding organization known as ACORN/Squirrel Nut, turned out to be not so upstanding. Evidently he was caught trying to illegally wiretap phones. Let me see if I have this straight. A sleezeball who got the goods on a sleezeball turns out to be a sleezeball. Who'd of thunk it?

6 comments:

sage said...

Party dictatorships are going to be the end of us... I did like the Obama really stressed the need to governor and not just look out for the next election

R. Sherman said...

Yawn.

All STOTU speeches are identical: nothing but vague proposals upon which everyone, regardless of inclination, grafts his/her own desires. As a result, I can't listen to them anymore.

Cheers.

Ed said...

Sage & R. Sherman - Desert Rat has disappeared so let me add my two cents about the speech. Like Randall said, all STOTU speeches are pretty much identical and full of things that probably won't happen due to political bickering and those that do happen will be done in such a way and full of pork that I can't stomach them. BUT, I felt that the bulk of the Current Occupant's speech last night was geared towards those of us in the middle. If a lot of what he said were to come true in a responsible manner, I would be a very happy camper and might even vote for him the next election. I'm not going to hold my breath though. He certainly has the gift for speaking, contrary to what the neocons say, and I think his was the least boring speech to listen too since the days of Reagan, especially after yawning my way through the last decade.

TC said...

I have a friend who played a game during the address last night: everytime Obama said "healthcare," he took a shot. I think during Bush's last speech he took a shot everytime it was "terror" or "nuclear."

Ed said...

TC - Over the previous eight years, I too have felt the urge to take a shot every time I heard the word nuke-u-lar. Strange coincidence?

Eutychus2 said...

Ed...
I'm getting pretty fed up with the whole political system, and yet I cling to the small hope that those who are honest and earnest will somehow 'take the day.' I really enjoy Desert Rat and would love to go on a journey with him, how does one qualify? Have a great day.