Well it finally happened. I got up on the wagon for the first time with the rest of you folks. I wasn't kicking and screaming as I might have suggested in the title of this post and I actually was kind of interested to see what I was missing. I guess the old techno-geek in me broke loose for a change after being suppressed for so many years. Yes, I am now the owner of a cellphone.
Technically my wife has had a cellphone for many years. It was one that she had owned before she met me and we got her a basic plan of 100 minutes per month for a bare bones price. We did it because she was commuting 120 miles a day to work and I wanted her to have it in case of emergencies. For five years, it was sufficient but the time has come when it wasn't going to work for us.
My wife will be starting her residency, again, this summer and due to the late and odd hours, we have bought a second home. Actually we are only renting and it is an apartment but I like the thought of a second home so that is what I'm calling it. Our second home is just going to have the bare essentials and we didn't want to sign up for a landline phone that would be expensive and not used much. On nights where Mrs. Abbey is working late and staying up there, we wanted to be able to talk to Little Abbey and myself so we needed a phone with more minutes.
We looked at various carriers but only two of them have signals here in rural Iowa where our primary home is located. Mrs. Abbey's current carrier was definitely more reasonable priced so we decided to stop in and scope things out. We ended up with 1000 minutes though I hardly see how we can use them since calling each other is free and also any five people who we choose. I only call maybe two or three people besides my wife and my wife is very similar in her calling habits. But 1000 minutes was $20 off per month which made it as cheap as the cheapest plan. We also ended up with not one but two free phones and all this for the paltry sum of $60 a month. This is about 50% less than our current phone bill for the landline phone. My long term plan is to eventually get rid of the phone but for now, I will still have my landline for reasons that I plan to blog about next.
On a rainy Saturday afternoon, I found myself reading an instruction manual and punching buttons on my new black Motorola Razr phone. I learned how to hypothetically take pictures, videos, change wallpapers and many other funtions I will never use and will forget by the end of this week. I always wondered how people could type fast enough on keypads to stay interested in a conversation but after entering a couple dozen phone numbers that I may want to call sometime in this millenium, I was getting pretty good at it. I waded through menu after menu selecting options that I had no idea if I even wanted. Do I want it to vibrate, ring, ring then vibrate, vibrate then ring, do I want the vibrate to be a dot, a dash, a dot and dash, two dots, and do I want those vibrations soft, medium or loud. The choices just kept going on. I elected to just do the old fashioned ring but in the two or three times my wife called me just to say hello because she could (see how quickly someone slides with a cellphone), I had a hard time differentiating my plain old ring from that of everyone elses. I could choose from a long list but they all just seemed hokey to me and not something I would want someone to have to hear if they were in the vicinity of my ringing phone. So I went online and $2.49 later, I had a ringtone of which I could be proud. I now answer to the opening guitar rift of Deep Purple's classic "Smoke On the Water".
I may have gotten a cellphone but it doesn't mean I have caved completely. I still refuse to take it everywhere I go. Other than the first call or two to my wife just because it was a novelty, I am not going to call anyone unless I have to and it can't wait until I get to my landline until such a time that my landline no longer exists. I turn it off when I am in meetings, church or other group gatherings. I am not giving out my number and no you can't have it Murf. I got the Razr for one reason, it was the thinnest one and it was free. Okay, that was two reasons but I got it so that I could tuck it in my front pocket and nobody is the wiser so I don't have to refuse people when they ask for my number. The only remaining question I have yet to answer is what to say when someone notices something near my crotch vibrating in two dot increments to the opening guitar rift of Smoke On the Water?