Friday, November 4, 2005

Extreme Ecstatic Excitement and Bone Liquefying Terror!

Have you ever been absolutely terrified and yet excited beyond all belief? I never thought that was possible until Wednesday morning when my wife gave me a second confirmation "gift." I opened it up and out slid a pregnancy tester showing that my wife is pregnant with our first child. My first thought was, "I'm going to be a father!" followed by the second thought of "Oh my God, I'm going to be a father!" Extreme excitement and bone liquefying terror all in one package in the form of a piece of plastic, some litmus material and two horizontal lines. Needless to say, my mind hasn't been into work all week long.

We both want kids and after a year long "lets just focus on us and our marriage for awhile and not have children right away" period, we decided to let nature take it's course at the beginning of summer. We both want children and since we married later than many of my peers, the window of opportunity to get the kids out of the nest before retirement isn't as wide for us as others . I was happy to learn the news and can't be more excited. So excited, blogging about any other topic just doesn't seem interesting at the moment.

The terrifying part is being a parent for the first time. Sure my parents were awesome examples to live up to. Sure I turned out to be a well-adjusted person... I think. But does that necessarily make me a good parent too? Can I provide for my child everything that they need to succeed in life and be happy? I hope so, I pray so, but having never done this before, I can't know until the results have been verified. So many, many years down the road when my child is where I am now, I guess I'll have to report back to you on the results of my parenthood test. I hope I don't fail!

Both of us have a lot of science in our educational background and so we both wanted to verify the initial test results that she had actually taken a week ago. I made a trip to the local drug store to buy one of those EPT test kits that contained two tests. I read the instructions, which said a minus, or horizontal line is negative and a plus with both horizontal and vertical lines is positive. So when my wife took the test and produced one vertical line, we were a little stumped. The second one produced the same results. The instructions detailed all kinds of color variations but didn't say anything about one vertical line. So we made another trip to the store to buy a third type of tester, this one digital. Definitely positive on that one. So with the other signs of a missed monthly cycle several weeks ago, a slightly elevated temperature all this time and a little bit of nausea, I guess I am convinced. By my estimate, I'm guessing the new Abbey should arrive sometime around the end of June or the first of July. Hopefully a subsequent doctor's appointment will give a more precise date.

We have decided to keep all this news to ourselves for the time being until parents are notified around Thanksgiving but in an attempt to free up brain thinking capacity, I am telling the entire blogging world. Since to my knowledge, everyone but Gidget, Mikey and Jeri are clueless as to my true identity (I kind of feel like a superhero but without powers), there is no harm. I ask those three to keep it under their hats for the time being but the rest of you are free to shout it out. Although I will probably be blogging about this in the future, by letting my secret out to a largely anonymous crowd, I hope it will allow me to focus on blogging business as usual.

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