Friday, January 21, 2005

My Dog the Child Molester

When my dog Ted was going through his what I would call early teen age years, he wanted to hump everything from stray towels (yes it is possible for a dog to hump a towel) to a toy stuffed dog a fifth of his size. I have terrible memories of playing king of the mountain with my father and knowing that not only did you have to topple him off to make it to the top, but also you had to out smart Ted who was waiting at the bottom looking for a leg to grab onto. But one memory of him stands out way beyond all the others and that is what I am about to tell you.

My parents were having a get together of some of their friends and their families at our farm. I was probably ten at the time and we had been playing hide and seek for some time when I heard this blood-curdling scream from behind the house. I being the closest ran around the house and found one of my parent’s friend's four-year-old boy down on his hands and knees with Ted on his back doing his thing. The kid has a look of sheer terror on his face and when he saw me, yelled, "Help me!" Between guffaws of laughter, I pulled Ted off and the kid took off running back to his parents for all he was worth. After I had halfway settled down in my laughter, I walked back to where everyone was talking on the other side of the house and my parents asked me what had happened. The kid was now crying in the arms of his parents. Not knowing what to say I just said my dog was playing a little rough and left it at that. I'm glad the kid's parents didn't know how rough Ted had actually been playing!

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