Monday, September 24, 2018


It is an irrational fear, I know that. I don't run screaming for the woods when I see a spider but I also can't take my eyes off them when I am in the vicinity. Something about having eight legs moving all at once just creeps me out.

When I'm outside, I just treat them as a grizzly bear with cubs. I slowly back away and go a different route and that has served me well over the years. The one instance in which I didn't do that because I couldn't is documented in this post and well worth the read if you haven't read it before. That happened to be the largest spider I have had the pleasure of meeting and still makes me shudder every time I think about it.

So why am I writing about this now?

As I was writing my last post in my office downstairs, I happened to see a spider crawl up on top of a box of used business cards that I use as scratch paper. (For some reason, I always got business cards where ever I worked but only handed out perhaps a dozen my entire career so I ended up with nearly a case of business cards when I stopped working.)

Anyway, the spider without any disregard to its well fare, got down off the box of business cards and proceeded to walk towards my hands on the keyboard. Self preservation at that point took over and my right hand grabbed the checkbook and dispatched the sucker, who was as huge as a quarter!

At least I thought so.

As I scraped his remains, again using my multi-tool of a checkbook, into the trashcan, he suddenly came to life when he landed on a letter in the top of said trash can and scurried into the depths of the trash in it. Great, now I have a pissed off spider who will surely wait until night before escaping, crawling down my throat as I sleep and taking a dump. I just couldn't have that.

So while not taking my eyes off the trash can opening, I carried it upstairs and emptied it into the kitchen trash can. I used the drawstrings and by folding over the top, tied it closed and carried it immediately outside to the outside can. I'm hoping the spider and I now have a truce. If he can escape out of the tied off trash bag and garbage can before the trash guys come next week, he is free to go and I won't pursue him further.

But I still might stay awake tonight just to be safe.


Kelly said...

This made me laugh! One of my brothers has a totally irrational fear of spiders and adheres to that "only good spider/snake is a dead one". Neither bother me unless of the venomous variety, though I have a few other irrational "bug" fears.

Good thing you don't follow my Instagram. I've had several spider photos there lately. I was just commenting to my husband how horrible the webs have been along the wooded portion of my morning walk. I carry a flyswatter to blaze my path, but still catch more than I care to with my face. ugh!

I think one of the biggest wolf spiders I've seen was the one I showed here, if you dare take a look: Fortunately it was outside.

Kelly said...

Just went back and read your earlier post - great story!! Even though I say I'm not really afraid of them, I think I'd probably have screamed a little if the one you pictured had charged me in an enclosed space! When they reach that size, I like to keep my distance!

Susan said...

All the while I was laughing, I was nodding my head. I have a totally irrational fear of spiders - I can actually levitate when I see a big one!

Tewshooz said...

A German proverb states that "a spider in the house brings good luck". For what it's worth.

Pumpkin Delight (Kimberly) said...

Ha ha! That story makes me chuckle. I don't have a "fear" of spiders. If one is crawling through the house, I don't like it, but I can get a tissue and pick it up and send it outside. However, if I ever saw a snake in my house or backyard I know I would die of fear right then and there. I shiver just thinking about it.

Ed said...

Kelly - That is a big wolf spider. Although we supposedly have them up here, I can't say I've seen one. I see a lot of yellow garden spiders this time of year. The one in this post I have no idea what it was other than something that is not going to live on my office desk!

Susan - At least we know that it is irrational!

Tewshooz - I try not to kill them but this one was a long way from outside.

Pumpkin Delight - I don't like snakes either but I don't get wound up as tight when I see them. Of course, I've never had one in my house which would probably get me would up really tight!

Leigh said...

LOL, great story Ed, well told. You'd never survive in the South. We have more kinds of spiders than you can shake a stick at.