Monday, June 27, 2011

The One In Which I Am Glad I Don't Pack Heat


Let me set the scene for you. My car tires are a bit low judging by the slight bulge in the sidewall a little bit more than normal. My normal gas station with the air pump on a separate island well away from the store front and gas pumps is undergoing a complete rebuild and not available. So I pull into my backup store with the air pump in the back room and the air hose attached to the front of the building at the end of the angled parking spots in front for those not buying gas. There is a guy who pulled in right ahead of me.

This guy pulls into the station and with no cars in front of the store in the six spots for customers wishing to buy stuff besides gas and proceeds to park his car across two and a half spaces with his passenger side door right in front of the air hose. The other three and a half parking spots have no vehicles. I had a long day at work and wasn't in the best of moods and wasn't in the mood to ask this guy to move his car so I could access the air hose or for him just to park in one of the angled spots instead of taking up three of them. Instead, I just swung around the pump and pulled in "across the grain" of the angled spots taking up another one and a half of them, drove up on the sidewalk making sure there wasn't enough space for the man to pass between my car bumper and the side of the building nor between my car and his bumper. I got out with my tire pressure gauge in hand and walked around both my car and his car to get to the air hose.

The man got out and came over to where he was now blocked off by my car and I was just waiting for him to start bitching about me parking on the sidewalk so I could tear him a new one about his parking job. Instead, he looked at my tire, looked at me and said he thought it looked a little low. I bit my tongue and told him that I was aware of that and why I was trying to air it up and pointed at the air hose which he had effectively blocked. He then asked if he was in the way. I bit my tongue again and said very sarcastically that I thought if I unwound all the hose that I would be able to reach the low tire with the air hose. He nodded and walked around his car, my car and into the store. Had the gutter been a little lower and able to support his weight, I surely would have strung him up by the air hose.

7 comments:

PhilippinesPhil said...

You know Ed, I could suggest some really good meds that would take the edge off some of that self-induced stress that you inject into your day. Geez man, I thought I was bad. People not parking within the lines? Heh heh, don't live over here man. YOU would NOT survive! Its a nation of willful cats all doing whatever they want whenever they want whereever they want. Not following rules laws or regulations is how people over here feel personally empowered. Drives me nuts, when I'm not on my meds that is!

Ron said...

It's the little things, ain't it? One at a time - no problemo. Hard to deal with when they come in mega-doses, though. :)

Vince said...

The ones I detest are those that drive ten below the speed limit. Where they then wander up and down with no discernible reason relating to the conditions of the road.

Ed said...

Phil - You know I don't have problems when I visit the Philippines or any other country for that matter because I know that I am the one that is the stranger and that it is me that is probably causing their blood pressure to boil. But when it is Americans in America... I think it is becoming epidemic that people just aren't aware of their surroundings and that is bad when there are more and more of us using the same space every day.

Ron - It had been a long day, you're right. Had it been only that in a day full of pleasantness, it would have been a different story.

Vince - Living in a rural part of Iowa with an aging population, we get a lot of that. Fortunately our roads are not heavily traffic'd so one can pass them almost at will.

PhilippinesPhil said...

But the guy was just a numbnuts, no meanspirited attitude, he wasn't in your face, no real problem except that he got in your way with his self-centered lack of consideration. So, if you HAD been packing, you might have drilled 'em for being a dummy? And I'm curious, what is it about you over here do you think might similarly drive these folks crazy? I think nothing, because even though everyone here acts like a "me first" four year old, at least they don't let the little things get under their skin. hint hint... Oh, and road rage is completely unknown over here, unless an American happens to be on the road. heh heh

Murf said...

Great diagram. Next time, don't bite your tongue. :-)

Woody said...

My oldest belched out the phrase "douche canoe" the other day towards an idiot driver. That was a first for me but I fear it maybe added to my catalog of road rage terminology.