It was peaceful this morning at one in the morning. The crickets were chirping and the frogs were croaking. All was quite in our neighborhood and my wife and I were deep in the restful sleep of the deserving. I was in la-la-land having some dream about who knows what. It was quiet. It was blissful…………….THEN ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE AROSE SUCH A CLATTER!!!!!!!!!!!!! I clawed my way up through the fog of sleep frantically trying to reach reality. Finally I made it to the surface and sat bolt upright in bed saying with a sleep-thickened tongue, "Whaddat?" in unison with my wife. "I don't know," we both said back again in unison.
I gathered my senses and realized that the sound had appeared to come from our hall bathroom. I walked into the bathroom and peered into the blue glow of the night-light above the sink but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. As I started to turn, I saw a white cylinder like object lying on the floor and my heart ratcheted up the pace a little. I bent down and carefully touched it and my heart ratcheted up another few notches. It was a pair of rolled up socks but that meant that they didn't cause the noise and SOMEONE WAS IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I crept on down the hall and down the stairs. I stayed close against the wall at the base of the stairs waiting for someone to see me and take off or shoot me. I looked at the living room window that I had left open to allow the fresh air into the house. The screen didn't appear to be in the window and I imagined it to be lying with a twisted aluminum frame on the outside of the house. I peered around the corner in the kitchen and in the glow of the stove clock light, everything appeared in order. The kitchen and great room were just inky masses. I reached around the corner and flipped on the kitchen light. Light filled the house blinding me. I quickly shut it off and allowed me eyes to readjust in the darkness. No sound was heard.
Feeling way to vulnerable, I quickly went back upstairs and put on some more clothes. If I was going to fight an intruder I wanted something more between him and me. Dressed, I repeated my moves and again flipped on the light, this time crouching down and waiting for my eyes to adjust. When they did, I crept towards the window that still looked screen less and finally reached out to feel for it all the while keeping track of anything that might possibly jump me from behind. The feel of woven wire beneath my fingertips never felt so good. Feeling a little relieved and my heart ratcheting down a couple notches, I thought about the great room and how the sound could have been the sliding doors being broken. Again my heart ratcheted back up to full throttle. I crept into the great room and quickly saw that the door was intact. Heart throttles back down.
I walk back through the rooms and see nothing out of the order. I shut off the light and start walking back upstairs wondering what had caused all that noise when my wife emerged from the hall bathroom saying that she thinks she knew what it was. A couple weeks ago she had bought one of these razor things that suctions to the side of your shower wall and holds your razor. For some reason, it has chosen one this morning as the optimum time to let loose and clatter down to the tub bottom. Relieved that the culprit had been identified we went back to bed but sleep was a long time in coming. It took me a long time to get my mind to stop thinking about how I was going to present this in my blog post later this morning.